Thursday, June 29, 2006

Oh really??

You Are 34% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.
Hmm, i'm actually not that evil. thank goodness... but still, im "the most dangerous kind of evil". funny. i do have an evil twin bro. and some idiot did say that i had let the devil/Satan to reside in me (that was looong time ago, n it really upset me because he meant it when he said it).

I dunno if i were more evil then. But yea, there are times that I'm just so bitter and skeptic with life. there are oh-so-many times when I feel that God has left me. that feel like crying for no apparent reason. and then i get provoked real easily over some really trivial things. and i feel like hating everyone. I still feel jaded with life. If u ask me, i didn't mind to just suddenly drop dead. I still do. I'm young, but i'm already exhausted.

However, yesterday while I was having my supposedly daily bible reading, I came across this verse:
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Frankly speaking, I haven't been a good Christian and am still not. I want to be good, but boy, is it hard. And that verse really struck me. I've heard them recited so many times. But when I read it myself, i felt so ashamed of myself. I'm always complaining, never satisfied; and more often than not, think that everyone is out to get me. Though I get excited or happy very easily, they are just fleeting kind of feeling. And I get upset, really upset, just as easily, especially under stressful situation.

It's not easy to see that there's always silver lining on every cloud (do i get the idiom correct? >.<) But I do want to be joyful always and to give thanks in all circumstances. I pray that God help me. Been trying, and I know I can't do it by myself.

So from today onwards, I shall list things that I shud be thankful of. Not necessarily everyday, but at least once a week.

Yep, so I've been fired. er...ok not tt bad. But i was sposed to work till 30 June, but yest they called me to say that I don't have to come anymore. That's 3 day's worth of salary less. sigh... cuz i was sick on Fri, remember. They are so stupid to call only after I went home. so i have to go to the agency today to submit my timesheet. Unnecessary travelling expense >.<
But yea, the good thing abt it is at least I get to go out with my mom today to this Thai festival at Thailand embassy. I love Thai food! Love the mango papaya salad. Hot, spicy, sweet, sour and salty taste in every bite. Yummm! Really tantalise my taste buds. Oh, and they sell my fav durian chips too :D But honestly, besides the food the fest is quite boring.

Oh btw, while I was writing this post, I realised that the song "Hakuna Matata" was playing on my iTunes. Coincidence?

Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata, ain't no passing craze
It means no worries for the rest of your days
It's a problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

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